MY ACCIDENTS WITH TRUTH

 2:10 PM, SATURDAY, NEAR KIOSK,MIT.    The sun scratched the back of my neck burning my skin. I had been standing at the same spot for more than 10 minutes. It was the best spot I could find to hide. The aim is to watch him without him seeing me. He was late. It reminded me how I lacked the professional touch. I looked at the table below which I had kept the packet in a small polythene bag. Maybe I was stupid to place the bag behind co-ops but there was no one around and the idiot was supposed to come 10 minutes before.  I remembered BHAI’s words. “Thambhi dei uyirae ponalum avanuku nee yarunu theriya kudathu. ana avan full history unaku theriyanum. safety than first.Poruluku addict anathuku apuram un kal la vilunthu kenchuvan,mayangidatha.sms matum than.intha number vera ethukum use panaatha.yar call panalum pesatha.panatha vangu porula kudu.”  I had already got the money.  A sms, “bike stand.12.00 noon. bike number: ********.2000rs.” ...

 “Nan English la pesana onnum perachana ilaye? I get professional only in English” Bhai smiled, it felt weird seeing him in that lungi speaking English.  I nodded my head in silent. After a week from that incident I got a phone call from him to meet . The memory of him threatening me with the knife was still fresh and I couldn’t help but notice the knife was still with him. “Look,I know you would have realized by now all of this was a plan. So let me state your position for you. I am going to make you an offer.If you are not satisfied with it after hearing you are free to walk. No strings attached.” I looked at him, I realized what he meant as being professional he spoke English better than I ever did.  “I was an 8 PONTER in MIT, can’t say I was sincere but did get the marks alright. Everything was well till my 6th semester when I got an arear. I had a small misunderstanding with the ****** who took the subject, but I never thought it was going to reflec...

"seri unaku yarachum girl friend irukangala?" 10 PM,  MAY 2011. It was raining outside. I was lying on my bed near the window watching the rain drops dripping from the top of my window pane. A gentle breeze gently walked past me raining its humidity over me. I was waiting for the reply for my message  “hey, I wanna ask you something” she replied. ”yes kellu . watching rain??”  “yeah,neeyuma?? seri I want you to make a promise to me” “promise ah? ena da?” “seriousa pananum am not joking” “hmmm…”  “I want you to be with me when I die. will you promise to be there?”  “Lusa da nee?? En ipdi pesara??” “sollu am serious.will u??” “how can I promise sum thing lik this??? o.O  moreover how will i know wen u will die??  ” “There is one way……… stay with me till I die :)”  I locked my phone and kept in inside my packet. I closed my eyes wishing nothing goes wrong. It had been almost two years since I sent her friend request. Like all m...

I realized,the knife pressed against my windpipe deeper as I struggled harder. It already had left a shallow mark which sent a tingle of pain. I could scream for help but I know for a fact that he wouldn't hesitate to slit my throat open before help comes. I was in the dark alley, only 10 feet away, radha nagar main road was buzzing with activity. Bhai and his men had dragged from there. Still with the knife against my throat he spoke,  “Nan solradhu purinjudhu na thalaya matum aattu, puriyudhaa??? ” I nodded.  “ENAKU EN PANAM VENUM.15,000.NALAIKU SAAINTHARAM. PURIYUDHA??” I nodded. “TRAIN LA VILUNTHU SAVARA CASE LA POLICE ORU DHADAVAIKU MELA VISARIKA MATANGA.SUICIDE NU CLOSE PANIRUVANGA.PURIYUDHA??” I nodded.  I was walking back to hostel. I realized even among all this shit happening around me there is a tiny bit of hope. He had mentioned only 15,000 which meant the second packet in my bag the other day had been a mistake which he didn’t know. If only ...

 Human brain doesn’t store everything. We don’t remember every day of our day to day life but only the most blissful moments as memories, it is what that lingers on. Often we wish to relive those moments but seldom do we realize them when we are experiencing it. But I was lucky I became aware of its significance when I was experiencing it. It was a world made of water, Reflecting everything around in its miniature form. The drop was sitting gracefully on a waterfall of black current. It was like watching a dew drop on a morning grass except they are much more beautiful as if the drops are made of honey. I realized I was imprisoned within that small world. With the gentle sweep of her head, the water droplets scattered from her hair and the small worlds erupted in silence around her.  I wish I was one among them; I would have been with her, till death part us apart.  “So..,You can expect this question in your semester”,somewhere in a distance far far away math’s ma...

I opened the bag.  “verum clothes than pothuma? ” I suppressed my relief with a fake irritation.  “Bhaiya, sir only tell.nerya hostel a thirutu poguthu soluthu sir.athan checking” “seri seri ipo polamla??”  “note la entry podu..” I walked until he closed the door and then started running until I reached the hostel bathroom. I went inside and locked the door. I emptied the contents of the bag on the floor. After a bunch of old shirts, two packets fell onto the floor. They were transparent, one was slightly larger than other. It looked like salt except the colour was dirty white.They smelled an alkaline odor.I tried to make sense but couldn’t .I realized I was tired of worrying always and decided to go on with the flow... 7:00 PM,  The Next day,  BEHIND LHC. It was a brief call the day before,  "bagoda va.athula oru packet irukanum,onnuthan ! lhc pinnadi,7mani.”  Before I could speak it was cut.  i was standing alone, it ha...

“enna sollitholacha seekaram sollu?”,my girlfriend demanded, her voice no longer in its pleasant tone but replaced by a tougher one as I was summarizing everything that night to her. “I told her I have you nu..” “you na avalaya???”  ”unna sonen ,nan epudi avala soluven ??? kadupethatha” “sirikatha da !!! inga theriyudhu..karumam avata poi nala valinchurukaaa???? Chaa..” “en eppo pathalum enna sandhaega padra-“my mobile vibrated.  INCOMING CALL BHAI “hey wait pannu de amma call panranga thirumbi cal panren,bye ..” “hello ??” “thambhi nantha pa bhai pesara ,epdi iruka?? Ok..ellam seri thana?? Avan ethachum galata panana? Ilala?? seri athaavathu ba…enakandi oru help pananum nee”  “sollunga na.. . varanuma?ippova??”  “amma ba backgate andi variya..seri konjo seekaram va.. ” It was weird seeing him in a pant rather than in the lunge. He looked pretty much humane though in the shirt-pant look . He was leaning on a bike mildly rocking to and ...

I was waiting for White at the canteen. Yes, her name is white. She came and sat across. It was the first time I saw her up so close. There is an infinitesimal difference between a casual look at a girl and a stare, it was precisely what I had been planning to avoid and like all men I too failed! "Unaku epadi thank panrathunae therla, what you did means a lot to me,actualla schoola irunthae avana theriyum,2 years senior avan; sema torture. inga vanthu correcta avanta matikuten. But yesterday avanae call pani, inimel disturb pana matenu sonan, un pera vera solran.eppadi ithelam?" 7 35 pm, the day before : It was the first time a knife looked soo threatening to me in my life.  "Dei yarta anthu ena kelvi kekara, lusu *****yada nee? mavna unna...,mamae irungada enanu ketu vantharen" The guy who held knife,dragged me to a house nearby. Drenched with sweat and a lot more of fear,"na enaku onum theriyadhu senior dha..." "enna dabaic...

"ivlo nerama,phone eduka??"  "hey thoongitu irun-" unknown number calling. I put her on hold and-"Red thana?"  "ama nanthan pesaren" “******* ***** ***** *** ****, ila kekraen ne enna avlo **** ***** ***** *****.... " "yov yov ,yaruda ithu??"  "unga ****** ****, senior kitayae 'da' va??? avaloda aalunu elarkitayum solitu irukiyam?? ***** dei,***** *****.." He never allowed me to talk,after a few minutes,"nalaiku unna nerla pathukaren.. ****u sethada" -call ended. I was stunned and was analyzing the last five minutes to make any sense when I realized, she was still on hold .  "intha nerathuku ,yarta nee ivlo neram pesara? enaku theriyum , antha nandhini dhana.nee lam thirundhavae mata "-call ended. 7:30 pm, Next day.  I was standing on the entrance to the street adjacent to Vetri Theater. The street was barely 2 feet wide. Earlier that day, I had called that number and ...

The next day she spoke again. Later that day when i came out of the lab,i realized everything had been changed. It wasn't anywhere near nice. She didn't speak much,just a sentence. "enoda senior unkita pesanuma,co-ops ku vara sonaru" and with that she turned away.  All day long when i imagined the prospect of the meeting,a miniature dragon breathed flames inside my stomach. [present 1 and 2nd years , It was a different MIT back then,different rules!] "macha, sir yarunu theriyuthada nethu ava sonala.. ivarthan" ,it started like this and went on for 2 hours,i was losing my so-called self respect and dignity at a tremendous rate. "seri ippo po ,nalaiku vanthu paru.."(nalaikuma??) And when i was about to leave,"dei..inga va important mater,unaku avala munadiyae theriyuma??" "ila senior, inga vanthuthan"  "goyyalae apuram epdida athukula ushar panna???" i was filled with rage at her. 'nalaiku setha av...

#1 i saw her first on AUG 3 2011, 10:10 a.m I first spoke to her in lab. She started it. If she hadn't started the conversation, i guess i never would have spoken too. It was like a Rahman song, 'arambathil oru enam puriyatha inimai, mela valarum kadhal athan isai mel thideerena soolnthukolum sogam mudintha pin' i never thought it as a big issue and i moved on with my day until.. Engulfed by the darkness i closed my eyes and every word she uttered came rushing back towards me. i opened my eyes,i couldn't lie down, there was a massive pressure thrusting against my chest. i sat down and uttered her out aloud. The pressure mildly floated away. i smiled and rolled over. The next day she spoke again. Later that day when i came out of the lab,i realized everything had been changed. She had misplaced all the variables and altered all the equations of my life.                                   ...